TV's Good Girls vs. Bad Girls

(Getty Images) Blind Item: what former sitcom sweetie was recently hospitalized for injuries sustained after her car broke down in the middle of the night and she exited the car...naked?

Tina Yothers, you say? Noooo. Tracey Gold? Good guess, but still no. Erin Moran? Closer, but still no.

It's Jan Smithers...Bailey from one of the all-time classic sitcoms, "WKRP in Cincinnati"! Yes, really. Sweet, bookish, go-getter Bailey, an iconic good girl - the show's MaryAnn to Loni Anderson's Ginger. (She is still hospitalized, btw, recovering from her injuries. According to the National Enquirer, she has no idea what she was doing, her car was actually fine, but relatives fear she's had a mental breakdown (duh) following the death of her father.)

Which got me thinking: TV has gotten alot of mileage out of the good girl vs. bad girl archetype. It makes sense: from what I've observed, for every Sandy there is a leather-clad biker girl just yearning to claw her way out. Ok, not really (just sometimes) but I'm sure you get the gist. It's a fact of human nature for men and women, but it's just alot easier, and "sexier", to exploit this duality in the fairer sex.

In most cases, the thing that differentiated each pair from each other was sex. Rarely was the sexy one ever seen doing anything overtly sexy, but storylines and character development hinged on see the sexy one the implication that she had either had sex or is at least aware of her sexuality. The good girl was a virgin, and usually awkward around men. And she almost always had a dowdier wardrobe.

For whatever reason, this classic dichotomy seems to have fallen by the wayside in modern sitcoms. Perhaps it became too politically incorrect, or one-dimensional to be palatable to actresses. After all, you really can't easily fit any of the girls from "Friends" into either the good girl OR the bad girl role. It's a shame, as I would argue that the actresses who played these roles imbued them with heart and dimension beyond a mere archetype that many of them will go down in history as truly classic characters.

So which twosomes have best worked the good girl/bad girl relationship? Here are my top contenders:

MaryAnn & Ginger: the gold standard. In one corner, we have Ginger, completely aware of her body and her sexuality. Then we have MaryAnn, right off the turnip truck. The producers of "Gilligan's Island" were no dummies though, and gave MaryAnne's "daisy dukes" a supporting role (well, those and her coconut creme pies).

Laverne & Shirley: While they were both blundering fools when it came to men, Laverne's sweaters were a bit tighter than Shirl's, and it's easier to imagine Laverne giving a blow job than her fairer-complected roomie (think Rizzo vs. Frenchy). Then again, these two may have been TV's first lesbian couple. After all, Lenny and Squiggy wouldn't have caught on, and Carmine was perfect beard material.

Barbara & Julie: The "One Day at a Time" girls didn't just play the good girl (Barbara) and bad girl (Julie) on the show; they lived these roles off-screen as well. As Barbara, Valerie Bertinelli rode her dimples to fame as America's sweetheart, and even a rocky marriage to guitar god Eddie Van Halen hasn't tarnished her image. Julie, however, could do no right on the show; and Mackenzie Phillips could do no right off the show.

Mary Richards & Rhoda: This one might be a bit of a stretch, but I would argue that Rhoda (Valerie Harper) gave off way more of a sexual vibe than sweet little MTM. Her ex-New Yorker chic implied a storied past, in contrast to Mary's small-town girl living life for the first time. The show's feminist vibe precluded any easy stereotyping, and no one would really call Rhoda a "bad girl", (her sister, Brenda maybe) but she did end up getting divorced...whereas Mary just called off an engagement.  America could sleep better at night knowing that Mary Richard's was still a virgin.

Bailey & Jennifer: And coming back to where we started, we have the ladies of WKRP. Like Ginger, we never saw Loni Anderson's Jennifer actually being sexual. She was just smart enough to use her sexuality as a tool - mainly to run the fumbling radio station. Bailey, on the other hand, was completely unaware of her own beauty, concentrating more on her job and making something of herself. She wore pants, Jennifer wore tight skirts and scarves. Together, they probably inhabited more straight boys' fantasies in the early eighties than any other twosome combined (not counting any combination of Charlie's Angels, of course).

So let's raise a glass to all the good girls and bad girls of TV sitcoms gone by, and hope that Jan Smithers makes a quick recovery from her unfortunate dalliance with the dark side.

Comments

[Jerry]

You forgot to mention one of the greatest good girl vs bad girl relationships! Krystal vs Alexis on Dynasty! I really thought they'd be on the list as this is gay.com and Dynasty was a huge gay hit in the 80s. Tsk tsk on leaving out the two women responsible for making catfights so delicious.