"L Word" Observations....

If you missed the season five finale of "The L Word," here's a quick rundown:  Helena came back and saved the Planet for Kit; Bette and Tina danced slowly into the sunset; Alice found a new love interest in the form of the now gorgeous actress from "Heavenly Creatures";  Adele got her way with "Lez Girls" and had her way with Karina/Marina, and Shane committed the number one cardinal sin by getting it on with her best friends girlfriend. 

Not exactly blockbuster stuff, but it was at least a semi-satisfying ending to arguably the strongest season since season one.

And let's face it -- we certainly deserved a good season.  After all, sticking out “The L Word” since the end of the first year has been like being stuck in a dysfunctional lesbian relationship, with us being the loser girlfriend who sticks around no matter how bad things get.  And could our girlfriend have been any more of a bitch?

Frankly, no. We told her what we wanted, but what we got was three years of ridiculous plot lines, no successful long-term lesbian relationships, a general lack of fun and goofy group scenes, a defiant refusal to change a universally hated theme song and an unapologetic killing off a character we all loved.  God, what a total bitch.

So yes -- while I'm happy the show made a comeback, I can't seem to understand why it took so long for them to get their act together.  But whatever -- I’ve shaken it off and I’m ready to make a few random observations/suggestions for the future...

Observation:  Bring on the better music...

Watching the girls get drunk and eat pot brownies at the party in episode four was fun enough, but whoever came up with the idea of having them dance and sing to the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” should make more “L Word” music selections (I’m sure it wasn’t EZ Girl). And you know what?  I’m glad they were dancing to an old song instead of one of those “L Word” soundtrack songs we’re all supposed to immediately deem “hip.”  I sure don’t.

Wish list for future music scenes: Jennifer Beals doing anything at all to “I’m Your Boogieman;” Shane having sex with the Pretenders “Precious” playing -- man, I could literally think of one hundred more suggestions for this. Also -- why not an episode where they all go to an ‘80’s club and go new wave?  Sorry, but the thought of watching them all geek out to the Go Go’s, Dead or Alive, Duran Duran, Adam and the Ants and naturally, “Flashdance” would be beyond awesome.  So awesome, in fact, that I’m sure they *won’t* do it. God, she’s such a bitch.  (Btw --iIf you have more song/scene selections, absolutely post them below!)

Observation:  Our girls are getting older…

For the first time since season one, the cast members have definitely begun to show the signs of age. Even Shane.  But you know what?  I for one am enjoying watching the ever-so-slight signs of age in their faces – and I’m glad we’re not seeing drastic botox, distracting eye lifts and more. Also  – with the exception of Shane – each cast member is flaunting a much more…appropriate and complimentary body weight than they were in the first three anorexic seasons.

My opinion only, but guess which cast member I think is going to look the best at age sixty? Believe it or not  -- Tina.  I won’t say who I think will look the worst at that age, but you sure can. Post a comment – and post if you disagree with me about Tina.

Observation: Thanks for bringing Helena back, but...

I'd take Dana any day of the week.  Ilene Chaiken recently told TV Guide that she was thinking of "creative ways" to bring Dana back, but rather than her racking her brain on that one, why doesn't she try to figure out why she killed her off in the first place?  Hindsight is 20/20, and I could be wrong here, but didn't Dana the tennis stars' death happen sometime after Martina Navratilova publicly criticized "The L Word?"  Hmm....

Observation:  Should the actressess decide what happens in the final season?

Over the course of the series, many of the actresses from "The L Word"  have been outspoken -- read, honest -- when asked how they feel about their own characters' storylines, or plotlines of the show.  I've read interviews with Kate, Leisha, Jennifer, etc. where each have expressed their own opinion on how they'd like to see their characters unfold, and what kind of situations they'd like to see them in. 

Call me crazy, but why not let the fates of Alice, Shane, Bette, Tina and Jenny be left up to Leisha, Kate, Jennifer, Laurel and Mia?  Look, we know they're not writers, but nobody's suggesting they write the scripts.  Whether the writers agree or not, I think it's safe to say that at this point, the cast members know their characters way better than the writers do, so giving them a shot at their own fate?  Why not?  I for one would love watching that.

Observation:  Will we ever see Shane's mom?

If there's one character they have to introduce in the final season, it's Shane's mom.  And I say that not because I have any desire to endure some super emotional, gut wrenching story arc where we find out what makes Shane tick (in fact, all I want for Shane in the final season is to see her have as much random sex as possible).   My reason is much more shallow -- I'm dying to see who they'd cast in the role. Come on -- there are just so many actresses out there who'd be perfect for the role, it simply has to happen.

That's it for now, but I'll be adding more observations to this as they hit me.  In the meantime, feel free to post your own observations/suggestions below. Oh -- I'm especially interested in your music scene ideas!

Image credit Showtime

Comments

[Adam Vegoren]

I, personally, just started watching The L Word this season. And I absolutely loved it! I don't agree with the criticsm with wanting to change the theme music, it's perfect the way it is! Why is it that the gay community always wants everything to be either retro or back to the 60's, 70's, or 80's? Let the past go for God's sake! Look to the future, grow up! I,personally, enjoy seeing and hearing today and future seasons L Words music and dramatic outcomes. I do agree with having the cast have a say in what the final seasons outcome will be. I think that that would be very creative and interesting to say the least. Anyway, let's all try and enjoy the creativity of the writers of todays gay-oriented shows as best as we can. I am sure that they are doing the best that they can at this time until someone better comes along and writes the epic gay film of all time, right? Thanks.

[Sonia]

I liked the season overall as well, but I agree -- why did we have to sit through so much crap for so many years?

Yes, the best scene of the year was the party with the Jackson 5, and I can think of a million more song choices for the season. I wish there was more rock and roll. Remember the heat wave sex episode? Sorry, but that song "Everything is Perfect" or whatever it was blew. I wouldnt have sex to that song. I will think of a top ten sex scene wish list later and come back.

[Randi]

Valerie Fallon -- I agree on all counts. Especially about letting the cast members decide the fate of thier characters. I can only imagine how frustrated they must have been for the past five years watching thier characters have such insane plotlines.

I think Bette looked the oldest this season, but she still looked hot. Jenny was showing the signs of age as well, but oh -- I think Leisha has had a little too much botox, and she's starting to look like Sandra Bernhard.

[LadyJaneBlue]

You are right on about this season and the previous season. I was so upset when Queer As Folk went off the air. Yeah, I know it was mostly a guys show, but I enjoyed it because it was a queer show. At the time we didn't have much on did we? Then The L Word came in right behind it. The first season just blew my socks off. I couldn't wait until the 2nd season. It was OK, as were the following seasons. Honestly last season I didn't care if I watched it or not. I was tired of the drama. This season however seemed to bring back what the first season had. You start thinking 'hey they are back and things are going to get good'. Then SHO hits you with they will be back in 09 and it will be their last season. Are they kidding? I guess the actresses don't want to be known as the 'lesbians' all of their careers, but they have to admit they weren't going anywhere before the show were they? I hope they finish the series with a bang and we aren't left hanging. One song popped into my head that might work for a good scene-if done right. 'Somebody's Watching Me' by Rockwell. It rather a hooky song, but I think it is fitting for our girls, don't you?