Top Chef: God I'm Good

Sorry, but I can't help but congratulate myself: I called Erik's dismissal in last week's post, and we got another, deeper glimpse into Andrew's borderline personality.  I am so in tune with reality tv now...I should probably just hop on a fishing boat to Alaska and detox...actually, that sounds like a reality show...

Although, really, anybody watching the last three episodes should've tagged Erik as the loser for this episode. Between the quickfires and the challenges, I think all six of his dishes looked like hell, and the decision to make corn dogs the night before was so...dumb. I can't believe that his team let him proceed with those.  Plus, Erik wore the expression that he was in over his head in every episode; the judges couldn't deny that truth any longer. I know some of you will miss this big lug, but he was just not my cup of tea.

And Andrew! Oh my god, what a freak. I can't believe Tom Colicchio let him off the hook with that bizarre outburst of "I'm not leaving! This is my house!" WTF? How could the judges not respond to that? So disappointing. I expect more from the judges, especially Chef Tom, who is rumored to be a huge prick (not exactly surprising news).

I thought the Quickfire Challenge - to make an upscale taco - really gave us insight into the cheftestants. Basically there were those who rose to the challenge, and those that were "too cool" for it, mainly Spike, Ryan, and Erik, who each proclaimed in one way or another that tacos are "street food" and "belong to the people" and can't translate to "fine dining". Is there not a single fine dining restaurant in all of Mexico, I wonder? The worst offender of course is Spike, who throughout the entire episode, and I fear the season, is playing to the camera, and showed some Survivor-like strategy by doing some mild-sabotage later on in the episode.

Pointy-head Richard wins the Quickfire, and therefore immunity. He's in this for the long haul, I predict. Cute how he made a taco for himself to eat with the judges (Padma and Guest Judge Rick Bayless). Loved watching the rest of the contestants roll their ojos whilst he broke jicama with them.

I liked the main challenge too: they were split into two teams, transported to some random Chicago neighborhood and forced to knock on doors for ingredients from the residents' pantries in order to cook for the annual block party the next day. Cue to Andrew's observations on Ryan, which went something along the lines of "let's send in pretty boy Ryan...tall, dark, and handsome..."  Couple this with his touchy-feely behavior with Spike, and while I don't think Andrew's gay, I think he's one of those really confused people who craves attention from anyone anytime anywhere.

The two teams then have the evening to prepare their food back at the T.C. kitchen and prepare it for transport the next day. Red opts to keep their menu "real", ie. dumbed down. Blue steps it up a notch, with the exception of Nikki's Mac 'n Cheese with uses Velveeta. I don't get how these chefs can whip out such fabulous dishes but not know that corn dogs and velveeta won't hold up overnight.

Blue wins, but not by much, and Stephanie wins her second challenge. She adorable and I hope this early success isn't setting her up for an mid-season defeat. Nikki should be gone soon: between last night's dish and her dismal stuffed mushrooms last week, the only thing she seems good at is making her own pasta.

Team Red gets called out, and Zoi is one of the main offenders with what was apparently the weakest pasta dish in the history of greater Chicago metro. Zoi didn't want to make pasta salad (tuna salad perhaps...sorry, couldn't resist), but didn't voice her objections to the group (considering her GF Jennifer was on the team too, you'd think she'd at least tell her...), so the tears she shed were for her passivity. Sign of things to come? Too early to say, but she was spared elimination, as was Ryan for his wet, goopy Waldorf Salad. I see him going home in the next four episodes.

And Team Red doesn't go down without a fight. They refuse to believe they lost, with Spike and Andrew leading the charge about how much better their food was. I'm assuming they must have tasted the other team's dishes - something that we didn't see but would've been fun to watch - and the judges just kind of sat there and listened. Tom had some harsh words for particular dishes, but none for the petulant attitude of these chefs who are only among the top 14. Unleash your wrath, Tom, get these posers under control!

Next week's predictions: Zoi loses it again, Andrew has another unnerving outburst, and we either learn more about Lisa or she's gone - they've made absolultely no investment in her. Nikki just might hit the road too. Added bonus for next week: Richard Roeper is a guest panelist - I've always thought he was hot.

Image courtesy NBC/Bravo

Comments

[Bobby]

Oh my God, I love the metrosexual slant of the cast this season. Andrew, Dale, and Spike are so surprisingly hot in their bizarre, high-strung, screaming to be power bottom kind of ways. Since when is Ryan the definition of tall, dark and handsome.... oh please! He's so not cute.