Who wants to be Paris's new BFF?

(Paris's new BFF's? left to right: Bryan and Onch, courtesy of MTV)

Well, I don't want to brag but I always thought that Paris and I would get along famously. I mean, she loves shopping, and I love shopping. She is made of money, and I love money. She's always on the phone, and I think that's hot.

To be totally honest, in my mind we're already besties. But if I can't compete on her new MTV reality show "Paris Hilton's My New BFF" for the opportunity to share in her glamorous life of parties, red carpet events, and international travel, then damnit, I owe it to her -- as a friend -- to help her pick who she should play with and who to just leave on the shelf.

As far as I'm concerned Paris should just off the bat eliminate all 16 of the overly-tanned and trim girls trying out for the immense honor, because if you've followed her extensive career as I have, you'd agree that the proof is in the past. I mean where's Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears today? Much happier, but do you see them out with Paris anymore? Thought so.

Then the two with any potential, as far as I'm concerned, are Bryan, 21 and Onch, 23. So you think you have what it takes to be Paris Hilton's new BFF, Bryan and Onch? Well, we're about to find out.

Paris's celebrity friends Ryan Seacrest and Perez Hilton are slated to appear on the show to weigh in on the matter, but what do they know?

So I had to be a true friend and take matters into my own hands and interview the two male contestants, that couldn't be any more different, last week, and uncover whether they'd fit into Paris's world.

(MTV)
Bryan is a criminal justice major, tanning salon employee, and aspiring model from Worcester, Mass., who thinks he's "the hottest gay guy around."

So Bryan, what makes you Paris's ideal BFF?
Probably because I'm pretty outgoing, and Paris loves to party and do what she wants to do and I'm the same. We both look hot. I've always loved her, and felt like we're... people call me Paris back home, because they think I act like her.

What went through your mind when you first basked in her glow?
It was crazy, 'cause I always looked up to her, and felt like we could actually be friends. So when I saw her, it was like, 'Oh shit, that's Paris Hilton.'

If you like her so much, then why didn't you go up and talk to her when she so graciously appeared at the club to meet you all?
When she first came out to mingle, everyone was up her ass. What they didn't show on the show was that I did go up, but didn't get to talk to her. I didn't want to bum rush her, because I knew she was looking for a friend, not someone kissing her ass the whole time.

Ok fine, friendships are supposed to be about trust, so why didn't you take Paris's advice when she wanted you to shave your head and put make-up on during the makeover competition?
Well, I felt like my makeover was more extreme. Some people just had a little cut off or highlights, but I've always had ny hair like this... I've never gone shorter. Eyeliner and nail polish are not for me. I'm gay but not that gay. I just wouldn't feel comfortable, and I'm not going to be turned into a drag queen to be her friend. And I didn't look at it as trust, because I thought that it was ridculous that she wanted me to change my appearance. I thought my makeover was too much. If you wanna throw in highlights, fine, but I'm not going to wait for my hair to grow. I will not do what I don't wanna do, and I will not change the way I am for you.

Who do you think you are?
I'm studying criminal justice, but I have no idea what I wanna do with it. I also work at a tanning salon. It's not that extreme 'cause I'm friends with the manager, and no, there are no retards that work there like on that show. It's easy and it's fun. But I definitely want to pursue modeling.

Well, it's not all about you. Friendship is a two way street. Now what did you learn about Paris while shooting the show?
I didn't think she was a bitch, but she's perceived as a bitch and spoiled brat. Yeah, she's born into it, but also works for it. She was really nice and sweet. The more I talked to her, I realized that she's nicer than anyone would expect.

Friendship is also about sacrifice. So what's the greatest hardship that you've endured on her behalf?
We had a challenge where we had to stay up for 24 hours. That's nothing to me. I was actually looking forward to it, thinking I'd win it. But the next day, we had to play polo, and had to do all these things, looking like crackheads. It wasn't that cute, because after drinking all night and staying up, we were smelling like alcohol and wearing the same clothes.

OK, friendships are also about making time for each other, and as you know, boyfriends can get in the way of that. Are you currently in a relationship?
I don't really know right now. It's a toughie.

Would you say it's complicated?
It's complicated. That's perfect, actually.

Being best friends means that no one else can come between you. Is there any other celebrity you'd go through the same experience to be friends with?
I love Gwen Stefani... and Pamela Anderson. Her and Gwen tie for number one. I kinda like Lindsay Lohan back in her party days, if they're gone.

Why should you win over Onch?
I was the only real guy. I don't know, he's a little over the top. Being around him 24/7 was kinda annoying. He made me laugh, he was so fucking ridiculous. No, he was cool. But just picture listening to him all day long. I understand he's good for the LGBT community, but he's not good to live with. He's too extreme. I could be friends with him, but not every single day. Everyone that sees the commercial [for the first episode] says the same thing, 'You're the one who wouldn't shave his head' and 'How did you deal with the Asian kid?'

But I also thought that me and Onch were setting a new thing, just because it's about time they put gay people on TV. It's good to mix it up a little bit. We're here and not going anywhere.

(MTV)
Onch is the owner of his own jewelry design business called 'Onch Movement' , and his unique creations can be seen around the necks of some of Hollywood's biggest celebrities.

OK Onch, now that Bryan has pled his case, what do you bring to the table?
Well, I'm so happy that Paris was open to wanting me to be on the show, so I could show the world that we're not what everyone portrays LGBT people as, and the fact that I'm also Asian, and having people see that I'm not the quiet nerdy one, who's good at math. I hope she picks me because I paint the LGBT community in a different light. And as a person, I'm fun, genuine, loyal and really creative. I think that we compliment each other, because I can use my creative energy and she can use her stardom and we can work on projects together.

She does say that she wants her new BFF to have business savvy.
Of course she does; she's an entrepereneur and I think we'll be perfect together. People like Kate Moss, Beth Ditto, and The Girls Next Door, Janice Dickinson, and Perez Hilton, have worn my jewelry. I even ran into Paris twice or three times. Everytime I gave her jewelry, and said, 'This is from me, and hopefully you'll enjoy it.' She's always so sweet. She's worn a couple things after the show, took photos from her cell phone, and emailed them to me. She's so sweet and humble.

So how did you end up on the show?
My process was a little different. I went to The Abbey for an after party. I think I was shit-faced and this casting agent saw me and told me I need to call him tomorrow and try out to be on the show. I forgot about it and then I got a MySpace message from him the next day that said to come in for an audition. I do kick ass-jewelry, and never want to be categorized as a reality star. I really wanted to be Paris's friend, and that's the only reason I played the game. I really love Paris. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have done the show. I even named my dog after Paris Hilton, so I can call her name all day. I think it might be the rules of attraction.

After you were selected, how did you stand out in the house?
I think because I'm bubbly, have pigtails, and red hair. My personality and the way I look definitely got attention.

You also stood out as the house drama queen.
I've been called a lot of things, he/she, gender bender, cross dresser, but I'm just a bisexual guy who enjoys putting color into fashion. With the toothbrush incident, I'm a passionate person, and when I think someone is putting me down, I get a little filthy myself. And I hate rollercoasters. They're my biggest nightmare come true.

Being best friends means that no one else can come between you. Is there any other celebrity you'd go through the same experience to be friends with?
Ok, maybe... Madonna. But she is not a celebrity. She's the goddess.

Why do you think there aren't any straight guys on the show? Do they not make good friends?
I think that maybe straight guys are dogs -- that's why.

Well, then how about Bryan? Could he be a better BFF than you?
Oh no, no, no, no. I knew it was Team Onch all the way, because my personality shined beyond Bryan. We know that. But I still loved him. We're BFF's.

OK, good friends defend each other when vicious rumors are spread. Now Paris has been called a lot of horrible things. So how would you set the record gay?
Well, the character and image that people see, that she's slutty or bitchy 'cause of her high status, after gettting to hang out with her, she's down to earth, and so humble. She's definitely very supportive towards the LGBT community. She loves me... so what more can I say? I want people to know that she's nice, and wants normal people as friends... not just people trying to use her.

Interesting... so how's your jewelry business been doing since you appeared on the show?
Ummm, I think Paris's show has gained awareness to what I've been designing and creating for a while. It brought in a whole new, different audience and customers. Before it was people who are a lot older, 'cause my stuf is pricey. But I love how now kids go to their mommies and daddies and say, 'I want one of Onch's.'

I don't know... I just can't decide between the two of them, so I'm going to leave the ideal winner up to you, Gay.commers. Who of the two do you think makes the best BFF for Paris? Let the voting begin. TTYL.

Watch 'Paris Hilton's My New BFF' on MTV Tuesdays at 10PM ET/PT. Fans can visit the show’s official site, and if you think you have what it takes, you can befriend Paris and the contestants by going here.

Comments

[Kirk]

Do comments even work?!?!?

Anyway Paris is an idiot, making a show for her new BFF. How ridiculous. Just because she is an heir, wow people love her. She is not (in her signature word) "hot". She reminds me of one of those dolls that you put on the hood of your car with the head bobbling around. That chick needs to get over herself. Karma.

[Datreon Book]

omg i love onch!