ABC's "What Would You Do?" Puts Gay Couple in Sports Bar

The ABC news series What Would You Do? places actors in real-life situations and then films the public's reactions. On the episode that just aired, they placed a gay couple, played by actors Dusty St. Amand and Dominic Benevento, who are a real-life couple, in a straight sports bar along with an actor and actress playing a straight couple. They also had another actor playing a homophobe, just to stir things up. Here is the clip of the segment:

Comments

[Preston]

I have to say I'm surprised. I wouldn't feel comfortable performing this same experiment here, in SC, but it's wonderful that negative stereotypes are wrong. It goes to show that you should just be yourself, and things will turn out ok. Right?

[Brian]

Wow! This is great! I'm surprised...but in a good way.

[Michael]

I saw the whole thing on ABC. It's kind of funny, actually. It's clear 20/20 has a lot of stereotypes about straight people too!

[StevenGabriel]

I saw the show when it was on, and man i felt so good after seeing everyone defent the gays!!! some people even cried for them! the rest of the show was really good!!

[Alwaysbetterthanyou]

Now...I want to see the one where a straight couple go into a gay bar and pull them same stunt. Set it up the same way too please. I see more str8 bashing and snotty comments in a gay bar about str8 people than I have ever seen in a str8 bar about gay people. The average str8 person is kind and decent. The average gay man is a sniveling whiny princess who has a grudge against str8s.

[Patrick]

Alwaysbetterthanyou,

You really believe that the AVERAGE gay man is a sniveling whiny princess?

Really?

The only whining I see so far in the statements above is coming from you.

[Ciaran O'Keeffe]

I think it is really great.  I mean, FINALLY some people realize that it is exactly the same for us to be ourselves in that way as it is for straight people to do so.  I myself really don't care what people say, it is their opinion and it just shows their own insecurities about themselves and also their ignorance.  It is just a good feeling to know that some out there have actually gotten some maturity and took a step back to think about how similar our relationships and theirs are.  Love is love, sex is sex, and attraction to whomever we are best suited is all that matters.. well within the "just-basics" preference anyways. teh hehe

[swim_r]

It's reality tv... in real life... on tv! LOL

[Mark]

Regarding one of the above comments. I have to admit when I'm in gay only company not in a bar but people I know. I Hetero or Breeder bash all the time and make jokes about them. Some guy ask me why I decided to keep my go-t so well groomed and short, I tell them the truth because I didn't want to look like some F in Breeder.

[Adam]

I think it depends on the situation. I know a decent amount of straight people who would get offended if a straight couple was making out a lot in a bar.

I find this kinda thing interesting. Behavior is a complicated thing to study because it can change so frequently so it configures with the accepted norm.

I liked the interview with the woman, it's good to know that she can align the incidents in the bar to what her friends go through.

[Randall]

Bring that experiment to a small town sports bar in Texas, Alabama, Mississippi or Georgia and lets see what happens.

[Nic]

I love this experiment, but I must agree with the poster that said bring this to small town Southern sports bar... living in Arkansas, and from a small town, I guarantee you that you WILL get a much different result.

[g]

we live in a miserably intolerant society

no wonder there are tons of men who hide behind a veil of bisexuality

[Luke]

I also agree with many of the posters here.

I mean, we have to look at both sides of the spectrum, but it's so hard to pinpoint what people ACTUALLY feel because their feelings may change instantly. However, there seemed to be a few with some good heads on their shoulder, so I would think that if they were fine with gay people showing affection in a public place, they would be fine with straight people doing it. If they weren't fine with gay people making out heavily, then I would think they would feel the same way about straight people.

The girl really seemed like she was firm with her beliefs though, which I was really happy to hear. I also never bash anyone really. I'm not really that type of person. But whether someone was getting bashed on the street or in a bar, no matter gay, straight, red, blue, whatever, I would most definitely stick up for them.

[Shan]

First of all, no one (even us gay boys) should really expect to go into a straight atmosphere and act that way without causing some sort of emotional reaction. I don't want to see straight, bi, or even gay people acting that way in public. It's almost an invitation to get unwanted attention. It's no different than two people arguing, speaking loud, or acting in any way to cause attention. Leave that to the privacy of a home. I'm so tired of those gay people who flaunt themselves in public and play the "gay card" when people react negatively. I saw that show, and even as a gay boy, I would have issues with the way they were acting.

[mr.]

If one does not like what they see would it not be more appropriate just to walk away or just turn your cheek. It's going to happen regardless. By not throwing a stink about it, within means, place, time and no children present. The couple were very natural in what they were expressing. I felt the "love".

[Lou]

New Jersey is a very open minded and liberal state, contrary to popular opinion.
I lived in NJ for 4 years and this does not surprise me at all.

[Carl]

All it takes is to be there at the wrong time with the wrong crowd, and they will get beat the hell out of them.

[Tom Yang]

Omg, that's why I love my str8 friends. It's true that there are some that still ignorant to the gays, but there are some that are awesome. I love that girl who defended the guys. So i enjoyed it very much.

[Prejudice]

Prejudice: expecting that most straight people will want to beat the hell out of you for being or acting gay.

Prejudice: thinking that most people in any given part of the USA want to harm you just because you're gay.

Prejudice: thinking bad things of an entire group of people (straight or gay) because of the actions of a few.

[RJ]

I was not surprised by that film clip, but maybe that's because I'm from L.A. where people are somewhat more tolerant of gay people. If this was filmed in Alabama, that scenario would have gone VERY differently.

Few points --

1) If this was done with another crowd and with enough "homophobic" people, it could have gotten very ugly and violent towards the gay men very fast.

2) WOMEN (Straight women) tend to be more tolerant of gay men, even if they are extremely religious or "don't agree with the lifestyle." This is probably because women don't feel the need to appear tough in front of others, women tend to be more compassionate, and women also understand how it feels to be denied rights or have less opportunities because of who they are.

So the reaction of the straight woman is greatly appreciated, but not that surprising.

3) MEN (Straight men) tend to be much more homophobic in general, unless perhaps they have a gay relative or a gay friend. But generally, straight men are afraid of acting polite to gay men because straight men are afraid of being called "gay" or having their own masculinity questioned. Straight men are also the perpetrators of anti-gay violence & hate crimes in almost 100% of cases.

So it's not surprising that the straight guy in the clip was homophobic. He only moderated his views afterwards when he realized he was going to be on national television.

[Marq]

Ugh, this segment made me cry.

[splerk]

Well it seems that things are changing for us for the better.
Keep the faith.
But it does depend on the crowd.
And don't think that if this situation was presented in the south, odds would be greater for more negative responses,
Because there are small towns in New York, New Jersey (cool people BTW), & in Small Town, CA.
I think there are more gay people in TX then one would think.
You just can't tell so easily, whick isn't necessarily a bad thing.

[will]

people are like dogs with different temperments, this is my philosphy for today, you never know how its going to play out, most of what i heard on this blog i agree with, but still, i know deep down somewhere inside even tho, you know in the back of your mind, if it goes sour, they will have the backup camera crew to protect them, and surely what will you do will have the cops on stand by incase anything goes scratchy, do you think, they still would have acted that way, without their protection? probably not? he said earlier, he knows how to alter his behavior, so he can adapt to the crowd, its a shame, it continues this way, even tho were in the 20th century, hell i know i went to a bar at 6am with my friend to drink, and the thought crossed my mind to shut up drink your beer and dont become obviously apparent to these honky tonk boys, i used to think its all a matter of experience, we're in all different stages of our lives, and we take in information differently, but now i think it depends how the stars were align on your day and how you became the person you are, past history has altered you, but it wont take away the person you really are, or the person you want to become, its all human nature, wheither you agree to it or not, stay well round and be aware, and continue to keep your head low, coz at some point or time, you act that way all the time, there will be consequences, someone is gonna beat the shit outta you, thats why most of us go to gay bars so we can be ourselves, i dont see this changing anytime soon, this whole world needs a make over, i accept everyone as they are, but just like you'in's im aware of whats going on, as far as that lady who was interviewed, FAKE, and didnt really say whats on her mind, she'd go home to rethink the situation later and be a pessismist, she probably pissed me off more than anyone, coz i think as far as females, their dumber than men, and their perceptions change at a very slow pace.

[will]

no offense to the females who are fast learners, but she didnt say what she really wanted to, at least the guys did, and stood up to the other straight guys who had a problem.

[Elijah]

I dont see wher ethe issue was a right to be there. I find that their over acting behvaior would have been intrusive even as a straight couple. I do not see where people should have been defending it. This is why people also defend the right for a man to throw his girlfriend up on the bar counter and spred her legs. I do not defend even a married man who is going to make out with his wife on the bar in front of everyone. This is the case of if straights can publicly F, then so can gays. It is like the stupidity of bad women who wanted to smoke too, when stopping the men or restraining those who smoke should have been enforced 100 years ago.
The media is biased in these set ups. They are choosing sides by turning up the heat because they want it to be an issue of straight versus gay rather than where should anyone be F-ing publicly. Straight or gay, anyone who pushes limits get reaction and deserve it.

[sam]

fantastic.

[67TWP]

I get bothered by gays or straights who are all over each other in a public place,.....they should get a room.

[chamo]

i wish they would get a less flamboyant gay couple for this experiment. how about some husky bear types.

[David]

I saw this last week and was shocked at how not only the people you'd think would be homophobic WEREN'T but the guy who changed his opinion at the end from "Disgusting" to "Eh it doesn't bother me." You'd be surprised how intolerant people still are and I live in Massachusetts! Very good experiment.

[Aaron]

Why do gays always have to be portrayed as so flamboyant? Couldn't they have had two regular "guy next door" types out on a date?? This kind of display in public would make me homophobic too!

[the_real_sweedie]

I like the experiment, but I would've rather seen it being done in a more conservative state. Try it in SC, or TX, or Kansas and see if the outcome is the same, I doubt it...

I like the fact that people came to their defense though, it seems as if a lot of people actually see that we usually don't get treated equally.

And btw, what exactly was inapropriate with what they were doing? You can't show affection in public anymore? Kiss? Even in a bar?? What type of stuck up people are you?

Regarding the whole "straight-bashing" history, all I have to say is; you have to give love to get love. And if you don't, please don't complain about it...

[Erik]

good grief---are some of you people kidding me?!

"Why didn't they send in two normal guy next door types?" Simple: Because "normal" (whatever the hell THAT is) "guy next door type" (and by that I can only assume you mean MASCULINE) are not the types of guys who typically have to worry about whether they can pass for straight in largely hetero-normative or masculine environments. Because they aren't the guys who are most often targetted with homophobic slurs and violence in public places---guys who are perceived as more feminine ARE.

While it's heartening to see (on National TV, no less) that there are straight people in the world with a sense of dignity and respect willing to speak out on behalf of queer people......It's equally disturbing how this story draws out even our own community's femme-phobia!! When are we OURSELVES going to recognize that until we learn to take pride in ALL members of the queer community (including femmes and sissies and bears and trans folk and women)...we really can't expect the mainstream world to TRULY respect ANY of us.

[Lee]

IT IS ABOUT TIME! But I am not surprised. I am a Native New Yorker (org. from Brooklyn), growing up and into my 20's (think late 1950;s to late 1970's) I would have never even imagined being affectionate to another man in a straight bar, unless I wanted my face re-arranged!

I think as the younger generation grows into adulthood, they are currently more tolerant in most large urban areas. As more people know (personally) gay/lesbian people and couples, they see any gay/lesbian couple in such situations as a reflection of their own gay/lesbian friends.

How could someone who has a gay/lesbian friend stand by and watch while any gay/lesbian couple is being harrassed just because they are gay/lesbian and doing the same thing straight couples do in public?!

I am really glad this was shown during prime time TV

[Tim]

"The average gay man is a sniveling whiny princess who has a grudge against str8s."

Alwaysbetterthanyou,

If some gays fear or have a "grudge against str8s", they are absolutely JUSTIFIED. Afterall, heterosexuals are the ones who have an extensive history and record of bashing, terrorizing, ostracizing and murdering gays. I feel very timid and awkward (sometimes scared) in a rowdy hetero-dominated atmosphere, and sometimes I'll make a smart comment about the hetero-male meathead's bullying ways, JUSTFULLY so.

Shame on you and your internalized homophobia, "alwaysbetterthanyou".

Your sn alone conveys YOUR insecurities. LOL.

[Ciaran1400]

I personally think it was a good experiment.. I mean sure, there are those that hate gays being portrayed as mainly flamboyant fucks, but the truth is that the hate is mainly directed toward those that are more feminine and not those that are more masculine. I in my own beliefs think that is not our place to judge anyone, but I mean, there is a limit on what you should do in public just out of self-preservation. Not everyone likes what we are, but that doesn't give us the right to be negative towards them either, because seriously if you think about it, everyone is entitled to an opinion whether or not you agree with it. Besides, as long as violence does not erupt, then there should be no worries, just ignore the offender and move on. It is not like you will ever see them again anyway, let alone talk to them. We should not spend so much time in hatred and anger because a) waste of what little life we have and b) soon enough the negativity becomes apart of you. It is a waste to harbor grudges against those who aim for hurt with their words.. but if they are responded to with kindness or even complete lack of interest as to what they are saying, then they will be the ones more upset. remember, when someone harrasses you or says things, they are just aiming at a negative reaction, but if you hand out the opposite to what they want, then they feel stupid and lame. If we are truly happy with who we are, then hateful words and stupid ish really shouldn't bother us, so why not forgive and forget right? Life is so much simpler when we take the high road.

[put it on a t shirt]

it upsets me that the for hire gay couple were so much less flamboyant out of the bar than in it.

Is that how they perceive gay couples? Is that how the producers told them to act? I agree with others, put two run of the mill guys in there and repeat the experiment without the overt behavior.

In the meantime, I do applaud the straight men who defended the two melodramatics.

[altogetherb]

I don't agree with these men kissing and doing what ever. It's not appropriate and they knew it. They also do it in public places where children are. That is wrong. sorry. They should keep it in private. As should the straights. The straights are usually the people who hit me up for a night, but not in front of others...........need I say more????

[altogetherb]

you know, if I really think about it, in the gay bars, I don't think that gay men really like this queen shit at all. It is kind of gross. Alot of gay men don't like fems. I want a man, not a woman with a dic.

[altogetherb]

If this goes on, you'll see men on men making out in the mall with little children around, watch and see......... not right ! not good for the kids !

[Kevin]

So, I like this, as a Canadian looking to my neighbours I see that things are getting better. Here's my problem with this segment though - Those guys were very flamboyant. Their voices, their mannerisms - I understand it is for the sake of the show, but I'm not like that, what would happen if you brought in a fireman on his lunch break to meet up with his personal trainer boyfriend? The problem is, it's just perpetuating the stereotype...that all gay men are flamboyant and over the top. I did like that they stood up for the guys though, especially the straight men at lunchtime, very inspiring.

[Dan]

Just a couple of thoughts:

1) It seems to me that they used overt gay feminine behaviour as it would be a means to get a response out of people. Regular guys in a bar would probably have been passed off as straight. They need a response, but they don't have the budget to wait around all day. As for people hating on femme guys, booo, I'm pretty Masculine acting myself but i spent too many years listening to people how to act and behave to let anybody else define that for me, gay or straight a like.

2) As for the kissing in public, common, really, a kiss in public is going to warp children. Really? When did we become this prudish. Yes, save the make out sessions for private, but affection is something completely else.

3)And it seems that a lot of homophoia is based on pure patriachial sexism, what is wrong with a acting in a feminine or effeminate nature? Are we so insecure of our own masculinities that hating on people who are different makes us feel more secure?

Just my two cents.

[WalksWithTheDead]

Either straight! or gay! Man! or woman! everyone always says something negative! either it be about gays or straight people! Everyone always judges people sometimes...not always but sometimes! Don't say you have not ever judged. For the people saying It's all straight men being homophobic...some women are as well. I luckily have never came across any homophobic people who have become my friends now.....and I live in Utah here so lets leave it at this! everyone judges! no matter what race,orientation, and even looks are judged!

[guy_next_dor]

yey for the straight people who defended the gay couple!

super yey for the blonde lady!... :)

[robert]

i think we should all give a standing ovastion to the pretty blond chik that stood up for those to guys

i cried
damn i would have dome the same...
and i know sevral of my friends that would do the same for me....

[Discount Cher Tickets]

I saw the whole thing on ABC. It's kind of funny.

[yuliang]

HOHO

[cheeky_sod]

It's good to see this happen. I think NJ is one of the more enlightened states when it comes to social tolerance. While I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable being so in-your-face Gay with a capital "G" anywhere, I think it would be even more dangerous in many "Red" states.

[ben242]

I personally believe that most displays of affection should be saved for the privacy of your own home Gay Straight or BI. I am not opposed to people showing displays of affection that are appropriate for public such as a kiss on the cheek, hug or holding hands. I think eating your loved ones face in public and rubbing up all over their body is inappropriate and I think it is disrespectful to the loved one and your relationship.

TO: always better than you.

You will always have gay men that are angry with hetero’s because gays were victimized by them and it will take a long time for the healing process to complete. There are some people of color who are so hateful of Caucasians because of being the target of discrimination, hate and abuse and this is still a lot of hate even though a lot of the wrongs whites have tried to right for years. Straights and Gays have a long way to go. You need to be patient.

I agree with a previous post when they said “ Why do gays always have to be portrayed as so flamboyant? Couldn't they have had two regular "guy next door" types out on a date??”

One poster wrote that the flamboyant should be shown because they are the one’s that are going to be bashed, but flamboyant gay men have always had the spot light and out front of all gay men to the point where they are the stereo type, the symbol for gay men and I am tired of this. NOT ALL GAY MEN WANT TO BE WOMEN, OR HAVE BOOBS, OR, WEAR A SEQUENCE DRESS WITH A MATCHING PURSE AND SIT AROUND CALLING EAOTHER BITCHES. I think and I could be wrong but, it is this poster and symbol of gay men that makes us all targets for hate. I don’t mean to offend anyone, I don’t have a problem if people want to behave a certain way, I just don’t want anyone like that representing me.

As for the Video, I think it was nice to see.

[bottombuster2]

I agree with the comment about the flamboyant issue. Not all of usare flamboyant. I see no reason to act like a girl. I'm gay, I like men , but I am not a girl. Why cant they just put two regular ,average acting, or if you must call it, straight acting, types in this situation and see what turns about. The media always focuses on the flaming drag queen types in the gay pride events so everyone stereotypes all of us to be like that. NOT!!!!! I for one am straight acting,and choose to act rationally wherever I go. As stated above, not all gay men want to be women!!!!!So dont add fuel to the fire by just showing one side of the family tree.....